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UW [04 Mar 2009|07:50pm]
[ mood | confused ]

...I got in. 5th-year Computer Science major.

But wouldn't you know, now part of me isn't exactly sure it wants to go back to school.

I need to have tea and think about this.

o hai LJ, long time no see [08 Oct 2008|08:32pm]
[ mood | meh ]

This paragraph in a book I finished recently has stuck with me:

Perhaps ascent comes at the cost of my soul, but that would just serve to make it the more priceless. I cannot abide the thought of a gray righteous life lived among gray righteous souls. I will not live with only one horizon, spinning dull brown cloth and sowing a single plot of dirt. Do I choose wisely? I do not know, but I choose in full knowledge of the consequence of my sin. If that choice sends my soul into the eternal exile, then so be it. I will add my defiant voice to the cacophony of the damned.

-(Gregory Crouch, Enduring Patagonia)

The author is a climber, and he's wondering if climbing itself, as an intrinsically selfish and violent endeavour, is honourable or could be considered a sin. I'm not a climber, but I can't even begin to describe how relevant I think this sentiment is. Not only to climbing and similar dangerous pursuits, but to life in general. Who wants to spend their years stuck in one place, toiling on the same patch of ground? I suspect many of us are guiltier of that than we'd like to admit. I certainly am.

Cerro Torre, Patagonia, Argentina

Anyway, if your choice is between half a lifetime spent working in a cubicle and this mountain, well...to be honest, I can't imagine picking the former.

Anybody want to go to Patagonia with me? ;)

10 Comment
[07 Apr 2008|09:49pm]
[ mood | pissed ]

apparently some asshole with too much time on his hands and no capacity for rational thought decided to have a little fun outside my driveway.

three guesses as to what happened next.Collapse )

mother of fuck. I want to go beat them to a bloody pulp with my torque wrench.

well, someone fails at something... [01 Oct 2007|04:37pm]
so if you see something go up for auction on ebay that would be hugely inspirational to you as an artist and is so rare you'd be hard pressed to ever hear of anything like it again, and you:

-watch the auction up until 2 hours before it ends,
-1.5 hours before the auction ends, leave to take your little sister to a babysitting job, and you:
a. make a mental note of the exact time the auction ends,
b. do not place a bid yet, because you want to be a sniper and anyway, you'll be back in plenty of time to bid later, right?

-then one hour later, you return home and log into ebay only to find that the auction has ended and you:
a. not only did the math wrong and thought it ended 1/2 an hour later than it actually did, but you also completely failed to notice that the end time is posted right there on the auction page for all the world to see,
b. remember part (b) from above, where you forgot to bid? Yeah, that.
c. and it went for a price that I would have paid in a heartbeat, too.

My question: does that make you (me) an idiot?
Personally, I think that the LJ login screen should say, "welcome back, dumbass."

Perhaps the moral of the story is that ebay is a place to avoid. Stay away, stay far away. You'll be much happier (and probably more well off) in the long run.

But what if there isn't one? [30 Sep 2007|07:05pm]
[ mood | tea ]

Why am I so retarded? I need to make a NetID for UW, but I'm having a tiny problem. I hate my name. Right now I hate it so much that I don't even want to see my initials on this stupid online ID. And unfortunately, being inherently uncreative, I can't think of anything more clever to put down.

So besides being retarded, I'm officially a nonmatriculated student at the University of Washington. Uh, go...being the low man on the totem pole? I'm back in 3rd year Japanese, and it looks like it will be fairly intensive. The class is conducted entirely 日本語で, and while my listening/reading comprehension rocks (surprisingly!), speaking still leaves something to be desired. How is it that the input and output capabilities of my brain can have such a large disconnect between them? I suspect that since I have the same problem in English, it's probably ingrained and I should just accept that I'm doomed to communicate like a moron for the rest of my life. Alas. Even more distressingly, the class is at 8:30 am, so those of you who know how well I deal with mornings should have some idea of how things are going, i.e. that's one strike against me right away.

In better news, I scored a plane ticket to the other Washington for a certain date in November at a great price, and am feeling quite stoked. Additionally, I've been pulling bits and pieces off of the Javelin and finding no new rust, which is yet another thing to be happy about. All in all, the past couple of weeks haven't been too bad.

[26 Aug 2007|10:51pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Please, someone, enlighten me:

What possesses me to think that even though I can not draw my own shit, I might possibly be able to overcome my crippling perfectionist mentality long enough to draw someone else's?

It's obviously not the money. I almost never feel justified in charging anyone for my artwork because 99.9% of the time, I think it sucks. So maybe I'm just a masochist. I secretly enjoy having unfinished projects hanging over my head and having people on my ass about finishing them. I suppose it's my own fault for agreeing to undertake said projects when I know that throughout my life, I have consistently managed to hold an unfinished/completed project ratio of approximately 358 to 1.

The only reason I can get things done for work is because I'm forced to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours a day, and if my task is to draw, then I may as well draw because I have nothing else to do. Left to my own devices, I start out brimming with enthusiasm and good intentions and then gradually slow down. And continually lose steam until eventually, the project gathers dust or gets buried under mountains of papers and other crap, and I pretend that by ignoring it completely, I can make it disappear off into the ether where it will never trouble me again. In one case, the person I was doing something for actually died before I ever completed the project. I don't exactly consider that my crowning achievement. Yet for some reason, I seem to insist on agreeing to work on projects that I know I will never see through to completion. This is precisely why I will never make it as an artist, and why that 60,000-dollar piece of paper still sits on my bookshelf encased in the envelope it was mailed in. Mother of Christ.

I wonder if it would help if I had someone take my computer away from me. And my car. And bar me from the kitchen so I couldn't get to the stove to make tea 365,000 times a day. And essentially barricade me in my room with all contents removed except for me, a stack of paper, an eraser, and a bucket of mechanical pencils and refuse to let me out until I completed something. Anything. Because I sure as hell can't do it myself.

I bet that thing's got a lot of POWER! [31 Jul 2007|10:01pm]
[ mood | amused ]


I was out driving yesterday evening with the window down, playing cheesy upbeat German dance music, Ricebucket being loud...you know, the usual. I pulled up to a stoplight and this new black sedan (Infiniti G35 or some such. It was ugly and had droopy taillights) comes up in the turn lane beside me, the guy in the passenger's seat hanging out the window. He yells at me, "Hey! I bet that thing's got a lot of power!"

"Yeah man, all four cylinders of it!" <--Me. Come on, no one knows better than I that Ricebucket's all vroom and no zoom. It had what, 106 horsepower brand new? If I could think a little faster on my feet, I would have added that I smoke shopping carts on a daily basis. However, I was too busy thinking about how if I was in the Javelin, they'd all be down on the pavement worshiping her. Then of course, there was some juvenile revving of engines until the light turned green and we peeled off in our separate directions. And what do you know! It turns out that I won the Best-sounding car award, the I-can-drive-a-manual-transmission award, and the Even-with-burned-paint-and-major-body-damage-my-car-has-better-styling-than-yours award. I'm quite sure thoughts of my sheer superiority haunted them for the rest of the evening.

Otherwise, life continues onward much as it always does. I'm trying to make a little extra cash by selling some of my family's old unused crap on Craigslist, but am proving rather unsuccessful. Mostly because I get so fed up with prospective buyers that it makes me not want to sell to them. My current favourites are the homeschooling parents who've been emailing me wanting to know what grade the Algebra books I listed are for. Gee, let me see. When do kids normally learn Algebra? Last I checked, math placement was determined by how sound one's foundation is, not what grade they're in. If your kids are learning Pre-Alg now and understanding it fine, they'll probably be ready to take on Algebra next. It's not as if the course content's going to change based on how old the kid is, either. X, Y, and Z don't miraculously become more complicated for jr high/high school students and easier for the younger ones. Bah. I'm unkind and have no patience. And will probably never sell anything at this rate.

[03 Apr 2007|12:50am]
So one of my classmates in Japanese thinks my name is Jason. No, really. That's what he called me today, twice as a matter of fact, so I know I heard it correctly.

Now there are about 15 people in this class, total--and it's not as if I never talk and Sensei never calls my name--hell, I've even stood up in front of the class and given an oral presentation. I'm really not sure where this kid got Jason from, but it's definitely...a first. But aw, dude! Why does it have to be Jason? I can't help but think of that awful story I tried to write years ago, with Hunter the Cliché Thought Vampire and Kate the Curly-Haired Stupid Girl. Jason was the Psychic Kid Who Could See Through Hunter's Spell but that was about all he could do...he was weak even by my plotless standards.

After that, all other news seems kinda anticlimactic. But I do want to announce with much fanfare that I don't have to take Physics anymore! Bizarrely enough though, I ended up with a 3.7 last quarter even though I bombed one test and never understood what we were doing in lab. I think my professor was a bit generous, but I'm not going to argue. Instead, I will bask in the sheer joy of taking only math and Japanese this quarter, and the knowledge that much enjoyment lies ahead.

Oh yeah, I also learned that my dog can projectile vomit.

It's been a weird day.

Probably won't mean much to those who didn't know me in high school [14 Mar 2007|11:11pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Brad Delp, lead singer of Boston, committed suicide last Friday. He was 55 years old.

I have great memories of summers in high school, driving around in the Cadillac with all the windows down, blaring Boston out of speakers that had been baked in the sun and were doing well to produce a minimally staticky midrange--forget about anything resembling bass or clear treble. I had every Boston album on cassette tape, recorded off my dual tape deck (long since gone). You don't want to know the number of times I listened to those tapes. Hey, they were my favorite band. I still love Tom Scholz's guitar work. Wasn't really that long ago, was it?

It was so surreal to sign into yahoo today and see the headline. For sure Boston (who are still touring, or were before now, at least) won't be able to replace Brad Delp, and I never thought Fran Cosmo was nearly as good. Sad stuff.

Well, that's my somber interlude for the evening. Back to finals.

Who can't make decisions [11 Mar 2007|10:13am]
[ mood | retarded ]

eroticore: Happy birthday!

Well, I was half expecting to wake up this morning to find that the early arrival of daylight savings time had caused all the electronics to suffer a meltdown, and the world was in chaos. Nope, no chaos here.

So it's that time of year again. I'm supposed to be picking classes for next quarter, which is turning out to be a bit distressing. In the course of things, I realised that I really have no clue what I'm doing and I need to figure out a goal to work toward. I had planned on completing an Associate in Science at Shoreline and then transferring up to the University of Washington as a Computer Science major, but that's opening up a whole new can of worms. 1) I don't need the Associates since I already have a Bachelor's in art, and 2) since I already have a degree, I have to apply to the UW as a post-baccalaureate, which is highly competitive, and I'm terrified I won't get in, because if you don't get accepted into the department for your intended major, you don't get into the school at all apparently. Ack, fear, trepidation, yes.

I would go to UW Bothell, except they only offer the CS stuff, and there's no Japanese/Technical Japanese/Math/Any other program I might fancy taking.

You know what sucks? Every time I look at a course list (doesn't matter what school, because it's happened for every school I've attended so far and then some), I find 3.5 zillion courses I want to take, few of which have any real bearing on my life or career track. They just sound like absurd amounts of fun. Additionally, I'm constantly flip-flopping back and forth over what I want to do. I like computers and programming fascinates me, so Computer Science is a good choice for a second degree. But I also love math. I mean, I could spend hours solving calculus and differential equations problems for the rest of my life, just for fun. If I do get into the UW, I know I'm going to want to take like 5 minors in addition to the 2nd bachelor's. I'd consider double majoring, except I kind of like being alive.

How the hell do you go to college for 5.5 years and still not know what you want to do? I'm going to be a student for the rest of my life at this rate. I want to continue learning things until my head explodes from all the information or something, I don't know. I'd rather continue doing this than enter the workforce though, which is bad. I can't continue living in my parents' house forever. Just, arrgh. God damn it.

Shoreline has a 5-credit, 3-week study abroad geology course in Iceland this summer. It's around $3500 including tuition and travel expenses, and you get to go walk around on volcanoes and study the effects of seismic activity on the land and local residents. I want to go so badly it's unreal. Too bad my wallet is laughing at me. Too bad the course is also entirely useless for anything else I'm considering doing, except that I remember being about 7 years old and reading the National Geographic issue about the eruption in Heimaey over and over until I had the article practically memorized.

Anyway, back to the point. I'm not exactly helping myself decide what to take next quarter. I'm kind of debating whether I want to continue with Physics. If I don't take it, I have time to take (and devote the time I want to) the continuation of multivariable calc, and I could take intro to drafting (which could suck but be very useful), or hey, a programming course (Since, well...ostensibly that's what I hope to be studying)! but the next quarter of physics is required for a couple of the UW programs I'm looking at but not certain about yet. Blast.

In other news, Ricebucket needs gas and windshield wipers, so I think an errand is in order.

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